Not So Good - Personal

So first things first, this is a personal entry, so no one really needs to read this. I just... I need to let some things out, ok? Will you guys let me just spill for a bit?

So this past Summer has been pretty hard for my family, specifically my dad's side. My grandfather has been very sick. We found out he had lung cancer and - not one - two brain brain tumours. The doctors said there was nothing they could do anymore so they released him so he could go home where he would be comfortable. After he got out of the hospital, my grandmother put him in a home. She said because she couldn't take care of him but that's bullshit because they had people they paid who would come help them. Then she barely visits him and claims that the reason is because it "hurts [her] to see him that way." Once again, bullshit. I'm willing to bet it hurt him more to be alone in a home where he doesn't have his glasses cause some jackass back at the hospital stole them. He couldn't see and he could barely hear. All he could do was lay there doing nothing.

Today my brother picked my dad up from work and my dad informed my brother of the news he got today. Now my brother has informed me: My grandfather is in a coma. At his age the chances of waking up are nearly impossible, so in short he's already gone. I feel so awful right now. I was never particularly close with my dad's side of the family, especially considering the conflict between my mother and my grandmother, so I never really got to know my grandpa. To me that makes this much worse. I never got to really know my grandpa, my only grandpa, and it's not like I'm really young. I had the fucking chance. My grandfather on my mother's side I never met due to the fact that my mother cut all contact from him after he cheated on my Abue (grandmother) and divorced her. I have no desire to meet him, so I probably never will. But my grandfather on my dad's side I care about, despite not being as close to him as one should be. And you know what? He cared about me. I could tell. I could tell from the way he gripped my hand when I went to visit him last. I could tell from the way he lit up when he heard our voices in his room. 

That's it. Sorry if I wasted your time. Over and out.